Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and
> anyone going faster is a maniac?
> * George Carlin
>
> The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the
> second day you're off it.
> * Jackie Gleason
>
> If not for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
> * George Gobel
>
> Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the
> Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next
> morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
> * Billiam Coronel
>
> Suppose you were an idiot; And suppose you were a member of congress.
> But I repeat myself.
> * Mark Twain
>
> Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At
> least they can find Kuwait.
> * A. Whitney Brown
>
> Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway
> through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my [Gosh]....I could be eating a
> slow learner.
> * Lynda Montgomery
>
> Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God
> talks to us we're schizophrenic?
> * Lily Tomlin This joke is from the collection at www.armenianbusinesses.com/features/jokes
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